“What’s got you all wadded up?” he drawls, toothpick in mouth, as
usual.”Don’t ask,” I say, but then I start talking and tell him every
bit of it, concluding with, “And worst of all, I can’t stop obsessing
over David. I thought I was over him, but it’s all coming up
again.”He says, “Give it another six months, you’ll feel better.”
“I’ve already given it twelve months, Richard.”
“Then give it six more. Just keep throwin’ six months at it till it
goes away. Stuff like this takes time.”
I exhale hotly through my nose, bull-like.
“Groceries,” Richard says, “listen to me. Someday you’re
gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a
sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in
mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was
changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for
it — in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace.
Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out
here in India.”
“But I really loved him.”
“Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don’t you see
what happened? The guy touched a place in your heart
deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching.
I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that’s
just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That’s just
limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how
much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, Groceries
— you have the capacity to someday love the whole world.
It’s your destiny. Don’t laugh.”
“I’m not laughing.” I was actually crying. “And please don’t laugh
at me now, but I think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over
this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate.”
“He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that
word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and
that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror,
the person who shows you everything that’s holding you
back, the person who brings you to your own attention so
you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the
most important person you’ll ever meet, because they
tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live
with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates,
they come into your life just to reveal another layer of
yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.
Your problem is, you just can’t let this one go. It’s over,
Groceries. David’s purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of
that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a
little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break
your heart open so new light could get in, make you
desperate and out of control that you had to transform
your life , then introduce you to your spiritual master and
beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it’s over.
Problem is, you can’t accept that this relationship had a real short
shelf life. You’re like a dog at the dump, baby — you’re just lickin’
at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if
you’re not careful, that can’s gonna get stuck on your snout
forever and make your life miserable. So drop it.”
“But I love him.”
“So love him.”
“But I miss him.”
“So miss him. Send him some love and light every time
you think about him, and then drop it. You’re afraid to let go
of the last bits of David because then you’ll really be alone, and
Liz Gilbert is scared to eath of what will happen if she’s really
alone. But here’s what you gotta understand, Groceries.
If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re
using right now to obsess about this guy, you’ll have a
vacuum there, an open spot — a doorway. And guess
what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in
— God will rush in — and fill you with more love than you
ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go.“
- Eat, Pray, Love: A Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia
